Procrastination: noun. The action of delaying or postponing something.
Today I sat down and reflected on my writing, or lack thereof, over the past month. Let me be brutally honest, it was hard to face. The plot is there, the outline updated, the fixes figured out – I only have to actually DO the thing now. And I HAD been making progress….
Until chapter 10.
I’ve been stuck in chapter 10 this entire month. I know what’s going to happen, and objectively, not much was supposed to change in this chapter. But I wasn’t getting through it. What was I doing that whole time? I was rewriting and rewriting again and AGAIN. Did anything change? Was my prose improved by doing this? Maybe. But not much after the second time – diminishing returns and all that.
So why did I do it?
I was procrastinating. I thought it was just me working. I thought I was just being a perfectionist, trying to craft the best story possible…. but really, I was just afraid to move on. And THAT’S the honest, ugly truth. Because when I do move on, that means I have to self-publish or query agents. And THAT means other people will read my stuff – and not just one chapter, no. The whole darn thing!
Imposter syndrome: a psychological experience that causes people to doubt their skills and successes.
I have imposter syndrome.
After a lot of thinking, google searching, and talking to other writers, I figured out my problem. It’s not that I’m lazy or unmotivated or a perfectionist. I have imposter syndrome. And from that fear, the symptoms of procrastination and perfectionism have cropped up like an evil monster dust bunny with superglue paws hiding under my bed. So now, I need a magical broom!
Please, if you have any suggestions or tips to fix this, I’m all ears.
Either way, please know that I made myself sit down and edit for two hours today – even though I cringed when I first pulled up my project. I’ve recognized the issue, and, while hard and uncomfortable, doing so has helped me finally put chapter 10 to bed. And I’m determined to do that again with every remaining chapter during this editing journey.
But seriously, tips about how to fix imposter syndrome are welcome, and hopefully you aren’t suffering along beside me.
All my best,
RL Platt

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